Meet Carolyn

I grew up in Belfast during the Troubles, where it was normal to cross the road in case the parked car you just avoided passing was about to blow up. Where it was normal to get searched going into every store, and the store assistants had to check the stock regularly in case something had been planted with the intention of harming as many people as possible.

I didn't know any different. I thought everyone had the same experiences.

I did figure out that I was the weird kid at school, who liked to sit reading Douglas Adams at break time and who laughed when the school prefects gave me the punishment of learning and reciting Jabberwocky to them.

I'd already learnt it a year or so before and I can still recite it to this day.

I didn't know at the time that I was great at masking. I thought I was good at getting on with things. Mostly.

There was an incident involving my Gran and the F word that got me banned from seeing ABBA: The Movie. She was annoying me and I said it to annoy her back, even though I knew I shouldn't...

Like a lot of women my age, I wasn't identified as neurodivergent growing up. I only self-identified later in life.

Back then, girls weren't being assessed. We were the ones who were 'too sensitive', 'away with the fairies', 'too chatty', 'too quiet', 'too much', or 'not trying hard enough'.

Then there was the teacher who said you had so much potential, if only you put your mind to it.

You learned to adapt because you thought everyone else had been given the rule book except you.

It wasn't until my early fifties that things started making sense.

My child's autism diagnosis rang some very loud alarm bells of recognition. Then I had a complete burnout at work. Around the same time, I realised just how much overlap there is between ADHD traits and perimenopause.

Suddenly all those jigsaw pieces I'd been collecting started fitting together because I could finally see the picture on the front of the box.

And I realised I couldn't think, journal or positive-mental-attitude my way out of the situation.

I'm Carolyn Arnold. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist, Havening™ practitioner, recovering accountant, and someone who has been exactly where you are. Capable on the outside, quietly unravelling on the inside, and completely baffled about why all the self-awareness in the world wasn't making it stop.

I've always wanted to know what's going on underneath the surface.

As a kid, I'd pull my toys apart to see how all the bits fitted together, then attempt to put them back together again.

Sometimes there were bits left over.

Not much has changed, really.

Give me a rabbit hole and I'll disappear down it with a torch and provisions. Which probably explains the slightly odd collection of things I've trained in and studied over the years: hypnotherapy, NLP, Havening, energy work, Human Design, Gene Keys, astrology and Tarot.

Some have more science behind them than others. I'm fine with that. I'm interested in what I find useful.

It turns out accountancy, systems projects and therapy have more in common than you'd think. I'm interested in patterns. Why people do what they do. Why we keep doing things we know aren't helping. Why something can make absolutely no logical sense until you look at it from a completely different angle.

Basically, I like figuring out how things work.

Which probably explains the accountancy.

If you grew up loving ABBA and ended up at a Stranglers gig and felt completely at home in both rooms, we're probably going to get on fine.

I'll struggle with song lyrics post-1985, so humour me if you're an Indie kid or a Goth.

I'm also a lifelong Doctor Who fan. I met my husband at a Doctor Who convention, so technically the Doctor is responsible for my marriage (and my kid).

Make of that what you will.

I love dogs, have a soft spot for pigs, and would probably love cats too if they didn't make my immune system decide I can't breathe after ten minutes with them.